If you have low self-confidence, you tend to project your own emotions onto other people. You often get a lot of criticism for your negative attitude and you may even think that they have a point.

After all, you are the one who suffers the most from this projecting and hence will think about it. Today we are going to find out what projecting from uncertainty onto others is and how you can deal with it.

Come read along with me..?

What is projecting from uncertainty?

We all go through some negative experiences as a child and we get unconscious and conscious beliefs because of this. Once you’ve been told ”’Don’t be so insecure, men don’t act like that”, you take that belief and the emotion behind it and stick this projection onto other people. So you actually think that men shouldn’t do this either. This is what we call projecting your insecurities onto others.

How does projection come about?

How does projection come about?

Projection occurs when, for example, we receive these words as a young child and we get a bad feeling about them. We don’t process this feeling well, so the emotion and belief get stuck in our body and mind.

Now that this conviction and emotion remains with us, we will apply the same label to people in similar situations from this filter. We call this projecting.

Aspects we can work on if we want to project less

1 Ego

We are quick to blame others. Just recognizing this can give you a lot of space. Because it means that the other person does not make your life miserable on purpose, but sometimes it’s just you. You do need some personal responsibility that there is also a part in yourself that creates this projection.

2 Lack of self-awareness

Projecting usually happens unconsciously, so don’t blame yourself for it. This alone does not mean that you should not take responsibility for it. Ask yourself if there was a moment in time where, for example, someone with a lot of self-confidence hurt you, or where insecurity was not allowed to exist. Are those moments there? Ok, then you will most likely be projecting. Now that you know this, you can pay attention and start doing it less.

3 Psychic resistance:

Projection occurs when we don’t want to feel our feelings. The second best thing we can do is often unconsciously project these feelings onto others. On the one hand, it can be a bit offloading, but at the same time we get a lot of criticism and so keep the problem going and it can even get worse.

This whole defense mechanism we call projecting gets worse to the extent that we resist our authentic emotions. The more we resist, the worse this emotion wants to be expressed and so it will do so through projection or other channels. So keep this in mind!

4 Habits

This also has a bit to do with the lack of self-awareness and self-responsibility. Because if you don’t have enough of it, you won’t even notice that you’re doing it and it becomes a habit. Anytime you feel like you’re projecting, be aware and shift down a notch. Take stock of whether you are really projecting and then change the thought and action to something positive so that you create a new habit.



When you’re tired, your boundaries and filters are a bit vague, especially towards yourself. So it’s easier to project when you’re really tired or exhausted. Everyone recognizes this after a week of bad sleep. You are more easily irritated or angry. If you know this, slow down and embrace your feeling for a while so that it calms down again.

Our own shortcomings

It can feel like a good strategy to blame other people so that you don’t have to look at your own shortcomings. It is also not that if this is the case that you should start punishing or condemning yourself. No, only having knowledge of this and working on your shortcomings yourself is sufficient.

Others’ shortcomings

Besides us not being perfect, others are not perfect themselves. Sometimes people say you are projecting when in reality it is someone else’s shortcomings. The very first thing you could do is see if they are ‘’bad’’ people and if they treat you badly. In that case, not dealing with them at all is best. But if they are nice people who have good intentions, but just have some shortcomings, you can look at them with compassion. You will see that compassion is a good way to take the sting out and you yourself become calmer around these people faster.

these tips and strategies can help with projection

These strategies and tips against projecting can sometimes help

1. Let go of the identification with the ”bad” qualities of this person

Sometimes it is very difficult to see that person as a human being, because the irritation caused by the identification is very high. It may even be that that person is no longer really like a person in your experience, but more an object with a barrel full of irritation.

Recognize that you are dehumanizing this person by constantly labeling them. Correct yourself and try to notice the good qualities and character traits from a compassionate heart. Slowly, your image of this person will change and you may even be able to rekindle that old friendship.

2. Not looking out, but looking in.

One of the best ways to solve it is to look inside yourself. Projection mainly goes outwards, towards the other. And if you blame that other person, you can’t fix it either, because you don’t change that other person.

The moment you start looking inward and exploring why you are projecting, you break the habit of placing your projections outward. Every time you are aware of what you are doing, this pattern is broken and you will also be less bothered by projections.

3. Embrace your feeling

Often projections come from old pain that are triggered in the Now. Sometimes something serious can also happen in the Now, but usually the old pain is combined with the pain of the Now.

A good way to deal with this is to embrace that pain or negativity so that it calms down and can be healed right away. You may shed a tear, but it doesn’t matter, tears cleanse the soul and spirit. You will see that even if you do not shed tears, the feeling will become calmer and the thoughts will become less intense. The storm has passed!

4. Focus on your body

A good way to break through your projections and come into the Now is to keep your attention on a particular part of your body. My two feet work very well for me. The moment your attention goes there, then almost no thoughts can arise anymore, because your attention is at your feet. Delicious isn’t it!

By the way, feeling your feet is already a good exercise as a preventive measure to get more into the Now, so that you will project less quickly. Because those who live in the Now are less susceptible to the many negative thoughts and emotions.

5. Become aware of the mirror

Do you remember that in the first place it was you who did not want to feel his or her emotions? There is probably a certain judgment on this, perhaps gained from the past, as a result of which you no longer dare to express that emotion.

The moment that person you are projecting onto and dares to do this, irritation can quickly arise” what a wimp” and ‘real men don’t cry”. While in reality you yourself feel the need to cry and because you are jealous that the person does, makes you irritated or angry.

Become aware of these mechanisms and projections within yourself. Becoming aware is the first step to liberation. The second step is to sympathize with the other person on his or her so-called ”imperfections”.

You thereby also heal the judgment you have with yourself about your imperfections. Because if it may be there with someone else, then certainly with you? So be aware of this and heal yourself by giving the other person more understanding, compassion and love.

6. Put yourself in someone else’s shoes

Projecting is easy and it is also destructive to yourself and others. What a good way to deal with that to put yourself in the position of that other person. What has that person been through? How did that person grow up? What kind of negative situations has he been in.

How would you react if you were in that person’s shoes? Maybe much worse or maybe you would do it differently. In any case, this provides more understanding and sometimes compassion for the other person. You may even start to see that person through a whole new lens.

Conclusion of projecting insecurities onto others

Projecting out of uncertainty is what a lot of people do and I sometimes do it myself. It is, however, that it often has a destructive effect on yourself and your environment. It seems to be an easy tactic to express and resolve your emotions. It often only gets worse and worse because of the feedback you get.

Fortunately, there are quite a few things you can do, but also things to pay extra attention to if you don’t want to fall into projecting every time. Hopefully my tips about selfconfidence and projecting will help with this.

A confident greeting,

Lucas van Wateringen